WHO IS JACK SCHITT?
>
> For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?
>
> We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt'!
> Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual
> way.
>
> Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer
> magnate, who married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They
> had one son, Jack.
>
> In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple
> produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt,
> and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
>
> Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high
> school dropout.
> After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.
> Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with
> them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt
> Sherlock.
>
> Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a
> rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six
> children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout
> childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
> The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens
> nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
>
> Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.
> He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
>
> Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt', you can correct them.
>
> Sincerely,
> Crock O. Schitt