11, 12 und 16 sind auch geil 
...Humor...
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16) fand ich auch geil und 2)
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Erstklässler mit Migrationshintergrund sollen als Hausaufgabe einen Vogel malen.
Achmed hat es ganz ordentlich hinbekommen, nur ist sein Bild nicht ganz vollständig.
"Warum hat denn dein Vogel keine Beine und keinen Schwanz?" fragt die Lehrerin.
Achmed fängt zu heulen an:
"Hab isch korrekt gefragt mein Mutter, wo bei Vögeln Beine kommen hin.
Hat sie mir krass eine geknallt. Hab isch nach Schwanz erst gar nischt gefragt! -
Tom had been in Police work for 25 years.
Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible.
sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a
month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door.
He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there.'Name's Cliff, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night.
Thought you might like to come at about 5:00...''Great', says Tom, 'after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks
Thank you.'As Cliff is leaving, he stops. 'Gotta warn you. Be some drinking'.'
'Not a problem' says Tom. 'After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em'.
Again, the big man starts to leave and stops.
'More 'n' likely gonna be some fighting' too.'
'Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right! ..
I'll be there. Thanks again.'
'More'n likely be some wild sex, too,'
'Now that's really not a problem' says Tom, warming to the idea.
'I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there..By the way, what should I wear?'
'Don't much matter. Just gonna be the two of us.’
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A young blond girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the porch" he said. "How much will you charge me?"
Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and brushes and everything she would need were in the garage. The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"
"That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" he responded.
The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blond jokes."
A few hours later the blond came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already??" the startled husband asked.
"Yes," the blond replied, "and I even had paint left over so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her along with a $10 tip.
"Thank you," the blond said, "And, by the way, it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."
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gingen mir letztens aus .
http://shop.etel-tuning.de/product.php?id_product=82
glaube ganz interessant für einige hier . -
Fährt ein Vampir alleine auf nem Tandem. Hält ihn die Polizei an.
"Haben Sie was getrunken?"
Der Vampir: "Ja, zwei Radler"
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ZitatAlles anzeigen
Original von juha
Fährt ein Vampir alleine auf nem Tandem. Hält ihn die Polizei an."Haben Sie was getrunken?"
Der Vampir: "Ja, zwei Radler"
Alt aber nett ....
Bringt mich auf ein Thema das ich geradeaus mal ins Bistro stelle.....
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böse (besonders wenn man Religion sehr ernst nimmt), aber ich finde trotzdem: witziger clip...
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rofl
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Das ist ein bisschen grenzwertig, aber ich poste das jetzt mal:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v…0&feature=player_embedded -
ZitatAlles anzeigen
Original von steve hislop
Rules of flying
Fighter pilots don't like rules. It's all they can do to remember these:
14. Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from
bad judgment.Nummer 9 ist einer meiner Favoriten
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Ich hab mich gerade mit meiner Frau zusammen über das Bodybuildervideo scheckig gelacht...sooo geil!!!
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i love google
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Zitat
Original von Alexander G
Dazu hab ich auch noch einen...
