...Humor...
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...sehr schön! Jetzt weiss ich warum der S vom Doc Holiday bei autoscout24 angeboten wird.
Michel, gib's zu! 
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DEAR DIARY - DAY 1
All packed for the cruise ship, all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets. Really, really exciting.
Some good friends and I decided on this "all-girls" trip.
It will be my first one - and I can't wait!
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DEAR DIARY - DAY 2Entire day at sea, beautiful. Saw whales and dolphins. Met the Captain today, seems like a very nice man.
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DEAR DIARY - DAY 3At the pool today. Did some shuffleboard, hit golf balls off the deck. Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. I felt honoured and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive.
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DEAR DIARY - DAY 4Won $800.00 in the ship's casino. Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a scrumptious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night, but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.
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DEAR DIARY - DAY 5Pool again today. Got sunburnt and so went inside to relax and drink at piano-bar, stayed there for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks.
Really is quite charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined. He told me, if I did not let him have his way with me, he would sink the ship........ I was shocked.--------------------------------------------------------------
DEAR DIARY - DAY 6Today I saved 1600 lives.
Twice
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Hat was...
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Salesman knocks on a door - its opened by a ten-year-old kid. He's wearing a cocktail dress, feather boa, high heels, and tiara. His face is fully made up: mascara, lipstick, eyeliner, the lot. In his left hand he has a martini, in his right a cigarette.
Salesman asks: "Is your mum home?"
The kid looks down at himself, then says "What the fuck do you think?" -
....what you're doing
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Zitat
Sammeln Sie Punkte? - NEIN, ICH SAMMLE LEICHEN!!!
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....in der Zwickmühle
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I was having great sex today when just as we got towards the climax my wife completely ruined the moment and said those words that just fills a man's heart with fear dread & panic ... "Hi Honey I'm home".
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Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologise.
“Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me”, she told him.
'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.
She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments
And asked, 'How does that feel'?Feels great, he replied; but I still think my thumb's broken!
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Hallo Jungs,
hier hält sich das Gerücht der Karl- Theodor zu Guttenberg soll neuer Trainer beim HSV werden.
Er soll dann die Punkte von Borussia Dortmund kopieren![:]](https://s2k.de/forum/wcf/images/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif "Freude")
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Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope.
The judge says, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use. I'll see you back in court Monday."
On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, "How did you do over the weekend?"
"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."
"Seventeen people? That's wonderful How did you do it? ""I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o. Then I told them that the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs."
"That's admirable," says the judge. Then he turns to the second guy. "And how did you do?"
"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."
"Wow!" says the judge. "156 people! How did you manage to do that?"
"Well, I used a similar diagram," the guy says. "I drew two circles like this: o O. Then I pointed to the little circle and said, 'This is your asshole before prison....
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Zitat
Original von Horst S2000
Hallo Jungs,
hier hält sich das Gerücht der Karl- Theodor zu Guttenberg soll neuer Trainer beim HSV werden.
Er soll dann die Punkte von Borussia Dortmund kopierendas ist nicht witzig.
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... nicht für Dortmund
J.
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This could only be in the UK !
In the sleepy village of Erbum , in the town of Tillet, Hertsfordshire lives a lady by the name of Linda Lykes
She owns the local pub called The Cock Inn.
Her mail is addressed to:
Linda Lykes
The Cock Inn
ERBUM
Tillet, Herts. -
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genial bei 02:06h "...on my way to mars..."
